I have always viewed myself as independent. I like being alone, doing my stuff by myself, and being self-sufficient. Yet there are also memories of times where I didn't feel independent, I wanted someone to do it with me, or for me.
Things I'll do alone:
cleaning my house or car
try a new yoga class
going to a new store or coffee shop
starting a new creative project (like makeshift)
Things I haven't tried alone (because I want someone to do them with me)
commit to a regular physical practice
commit to a regular healthy diet
trying a new complicated recipe (err homemade sourdough with a homemade starter...)
going out to eat or to the movies alone
adult things like investing and finances
do a cleanse from tv/social media/sugar
replacing tv watching with book reading
I am realizing that while I see myself as a leader, willing to do the work to support a team, or in my case 3 teams, I am not actually being a leader for ME. The things I do alone are things that either benefit the team (grocery shopping) or I think they benefit the team (a clean house). The things on my "haven't tried" list are things that benefit ME. I use the excuse that I'd rather do it with someone but is that really leading?
A few years back I started to realize that by saying yes to everything, I was saying no to something, often that something was me. Yes I'll cover that shift, yes I'll watch your kids, yes I can hang out after work. I always saw it as a way of being a supportive friend/coworker/nanny I realized that it was actually wearing me thin. I started picking who got my YES' because a yes for them was a no for something else. In other words my yes' became valuable.
This is the exact same thing. I am willing to do just about anything for the people in my life that I support. Whether it's grow their business, brainstorm for a day, come up with a website refresh/social media marketing plan, or cook them dinner and make their bed. You can bet that I'll say yes. I am the one leading this ship, I am the one you are leaning on for support. Of course, yes! While I truly value my work and relationships, every yes I give to someone else is a potential no to me.
Things I am a YES for that I am being an active NO for (right now)
working out often
going on walks on the beach (why the heck am I saying no to that??)
taking care of my body inside and out
truly focusing on my family
Starting today I am being a WILLING LEADER of Cordelia. She needs me and I am her support system. I told Maddie about my mission and she helped me come up with a check-list of my commitments. Each day for the next month I will complete the tasks I need to, like flossing my teeth and 2 minute planks! It's is time for me to steer my ship a little more and to steer other's ships a little less.
If you want to join in on the fun, download this FREE checklist and fill out your YES'. We can do it alone AND we can do it together!!