2016 was a year of simplifying for me. I am still learning new lessons from the same practice. I hold onto everything. From shopping bags to deep conversations, it's all up there in my mind and in my closet. Every memory I can store, every tangible thing I can attach it too. That sweat shirt reminds me of... that dress was bought by... that cd was burned for... that letter was written by... all physical products of emotional memories. Simplifying is easy for me when I don't have any emotional attachment to the object. Simplifying is hard when I feel like its taking away little parts of me. The other part of simplifying that challenges me is getting rid of something that I might need later. We don't have a lot of things hanging in our apartment. All the frames I have are hiding in my closet. What if we move into a house? What if I need those frames again?
As we've established, I am a hoarder, of stuff and of memories. What if I loose that person? What if I forget how much love they gave me? What if I grow too far from them that these memories are lost? If I get rid of my tangible memories of people, will my memories be enough? Do I even need these memories of good and bad times? Of people? Marie Kondo says in The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up "When we delve into the reasons to way we can't let something go, there are only two; an attachment to the past or a fear of the future."
Simplifying is more than minimizing my wardrobe, it's digging into my heart, asking if it's ready to let go and ready to move on. I don't know if I am. I DO know it feels good. I DO know that attachments to material things aren't healthy. I guess that means maybe, just maybe, attachments to every story, every memory of every person, aren't as necessary as I think. Maybe each of those beautiful memories have served their purpose, taking me to where I am now and leaving me ready for what's to come.