When I read Cordelia’s post about excuses, it really resonated. It’s so easy to come up with a reason why we can’t do something. However, on the complete flip side, lately I’m learning to let my excuse be enough, and show my ego the door.
Here’s what my list of excuses looks like:
- I should make some meals and clean the house, but I just had my first baby.
- I should throw that load of dirty diapers in the laundry and clean that baby mess out of our sheets, but I just had my first baby.
- I should do my own grocery shopping, and run my own errands, and pick up the things we’re missing, but I just had my first baby.
- I should know all this already, and we should have had all this before the birth, and I know I can do these things on my own, but I just had my first baby.
- I want to do everything myself, and figure out what normal is, and know we can handle this, but I just had my first baby.
- I should start writing thank you notes so I don’t forget anyone and so everyone knows how much I appreciate them and that I take none of this for granted, but I just had my first baby.
It’s a humbling place to be—asking someone to bring you a plate, hold the baby while you pee, and refill your water, to say nothing of grabbing things for you at the store and throwing in yet another load of laundry just till you can make it up and down the stairs again. There are honestly times when I’m too busy nursing, changing, burping, soothing, eating, taking supplements, applying salve, rinsing with a peri bottle, and dreaming about my next shower to ask someone to change the sheets, grab the mail, or bring yet another meal. Luckily, NO ONE is waiting for me to ask. We’ve had so much loving support around the clock since we got home, we will never be done saying thank you.
I guess I have a lot of ideas about what it means if I need help. Whether it makes me weak, or slow, or incapable. While I feel like I am capable of doing each thing required around here, my body literally won’t let me do it all. I ran a 102º temperature for three days while my body battled infection brought on by pushing too hard too soon. Apparently, if I won’t stay down, my body will knock me down till I recover. And I’m learning that’s a beautiful thing. I’m grateful my body requires me to take this adjustment slowly and focus on my excuse, because it’s all that really matters. I just had my first baby, and letting people take care of me so I can take care of him is beautiful. I just hope I get the opportunity to return the favor someday.
Hello door, meet my ego. I am going to leave her here because she doesn’t serve my soul or my family and I am ready to let her go.
Maybe you’re in a season of life when you need to introduce your excuses to the door, or maybe, like me, you’re in a season when your excuse is EXACTLY what you’re supposed to be doing, and nothing else. Maybe it’s a time to accept help, say no, procrastinate, and let shit go. Maybe you’re in transition or healing. If you’re a new:
Or if you are healing:
Maybe you can introduce your ego to the door, and allow some expectations to slip. Allow your new role or your healing self to be your focus, and leave everything else for now. It will be there when you are recovered and reestablished.
As Cord said, some excuses are the truth and some are a lie. Letting go involves listening to that excuse and deciding if it is the truth or a lie. If the excuse is the truth, check your ego at the door, and focus on what matters right now. The rest can wait.
Get it? Try it! Let us know how it goes!